Spring Cleaning

For months, a nebulous idea has cowered at the bottom of my to-do list. ‘Write.’ I left it lurking there unattended, because I’m not A Writer, whatever one of those is, and I wasn’t sure what impelled me to quite write ‘write’ right there at all. I knew I kind of wanted to think things through and let off some verbal steam, but without knowing where or how to start.

A conversation not so long ago changed that. We were talking about how I think endlessly, I think in bed, I think while walking, and eating, and when I should be working, but how much insight does it ever gain me? Embarrassingly little. We both agreed I was ‘too full’, which is one of those soundbites that doesn’t really mean anything, yet somehow means a great deal. (There’s another one.) Put another way, it doesn’t always require conscious, lucid understanding for a message to sink in [1].

The trouble is, if you’re the thinking sort (and if there was ever a label to assign to me, it’s that), it’s all too easy to think and think and think yourself into a state of mental constipation, juggling a trillion and five things in your mind but rarely shining new light on any of them. And there is a lot to think about; my life has changed a great deal in the last ten years, as have I. To an extent, I’m sure this is a commonplace experience for anybody reflecting on their transition into adulthood. However, so much of the past few years would have been unthinkable (heh) to a younger me, it’s hard to grasp the extent of the effects that’s had. The time has come for a mental spring-cleaning; out with the old, and in with new (hopefully healthier) attitudes. This has been a work in progress for some time, haphazardly churning up the stagnant waters of my thoughtworld, but I’ve begun to think that it will only start to ‘fit’ once I’ve converted some of it into tangible words on paper. Meanwhile, I’ve thought enough to develop some opinions which have grown impatient at being bottled up voicelessly, so it’s high time to let loose a few rants into the cyber-ether.

[1] Which perhaps sheds some light on how films and books can affect our psyche as much as they sometimes do.

Spring Cleaning

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